We are taught our whole lives to hide our breasts. They are sexy but shameful and inappropriate. Every celebrity nip-slip makes it onto the internet where they’re publicly teased. We wish they were perkier, bigger, smaller, softer firmer… and on and on and on. You grow up thinking of breasts as sex organs but then one day you have a baby and suddenly they are no longer private property. The doctors touch them, the nurses touch them, the baby touches them. Suddenly everyone is asking about your boobs! Are you making enough milk? Do they hurt? Are your nipples chapped? How’s his latch? The transition from your breasts being private to VERY public is a fast, and sometimes traumatic, one. It is totally normal to have all kinds of different emotions and thoughts about nursing over the course of your mom-hood. Sometimes you might feel all of them in one day. Just know that you’re not alone and you are justified in your feelings, whatever they are. Here are just some of the ways you might feel about breastfeeding.
Why didn’t anyone warn me?
When your precious baby is born they go from a constant food stream from the umbilical cord to barely eating at all. You are only producing colostrum, no milk yet, and they are still figuring out how to suck. Something that people don’t warn you about is marathon feeding. The first night or two your whole life is breastfeeding and mama, you will be tired. Not only did you just give birth but now you are nursing almost constantly. For me I nursed my son for 45 minutes out of every hour for two days! It was exhausting and uncomfortable. It is normal for them to lose some weight in the first few days while you are figuring each other out (and that’s okay!)
I can’t do this!
Breastfeeding is hard! It can hurt, it can be frustrating, it can take up your whole day. You have to plan your whole life around feeding this tiny baby and that can be really daunting. The good news is no matter what happens, your baby will be okay. How lucky are we to live in a time where there are so many options for formula? So, do your best because you can do it! But if you can’t, that’s okay too!
This is the best thing that has ever happened to me.
A few weeks into nursing my son we had it all figured out. He knew what to do, I knew what to do and it was GREAT! There is always that initial struggle when you are getting to know your baby but once things are flowing (heh heh) smoothly it is such a beautiful experience! I loved knowing that if I was with my baby we had everything he needed. If I forgot diapers or wipes or a change of clothes it was okay because I always had my boobs! I knew he wouldn’t be hungry even if everything else went wrong.
On top of that, many women, myself included, have this rush of endorphins right before a let down and it makes you feel like everything is right in the world. It is like a love explosion going off in your soul and the bonding is out of this world.
This is the worst thing that has ever happened to me.
Some women do not have the love explosion hormones before a let down but instead have a horrible sense of anxiety or depression while nursing. This is called Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex, D-MER for short, and it can be very scary for a new mom as it is not something that people talk about very often. On top of the feeling of loneliness that can come from being a stay at home mom or being on maternity leave these feelings can have a huge effect on the psyche. If you are having these depressed or anxious feelings it is very important to talk to your doctor. As I always say, you deserve to be happy and your baby deserves a happy mommy.
Will this ever stop hurting?!
When I first started nursing the pain was worse than labor. Yeah, you read that right! While my nipples were getting used to being sucked on for hours and hours every day, they were chapped, bleeding and scabbed. Add on the fact that some babies have a tongue tie or take extra time learning to latch and you could be facing months of pain and struggling. There is relief though! I tried just about everything to relieve the pain but there were three things that really worked well for me.
- After nursing, squeeze out a little extra milk, rub it on your nipples and then let your nipples air dry. Yep, just hang out with the girls out for a few minutes. Breast milk cures all, it’ll help heal the chapped skin and kills bacteria.
- Apply lanolin to your dry nipples. Lanolin is the Neosporin of nipples. It is soothing and can provide instant relief to nipple pain.
- Use a nipple shield. This is the big one! I called nipple shields my boobie epidural. They made such a huge difference! They allowed my nipples to heal and after that we were able to nurse with no issues! I was worried that they would confuse my son making it harder for him to latch in the future but he was able to go between the nipple shield and the nipple with no issues.
When should I stop?
When my son turned one year old people no longer ask “are you nursing” (as if it is any of their business.) Now they ask “are you STILL nursing?” It is like suddenly he isn’t an infant anymore so nursing is weird. Well, do I have news for you. I will nurse as long as it is working out for both my son and myself. If that means we quit tomorrow that’s fine. If that means we quit when he’s three that’s fine too. Everyone has their own time table as to when it’s okay to judge someone for nursing but the fact is that if it works for you you’re doing it right! You’ll know when it’s time to stop but until then keep on boobin’.
I dare you to say something.
I can’t count how many times I have had an argument in my head with someone while nursing in public. Whenever I’m out and I am nursing my son I am just waiting for someone to come say something to me about it. I am like a cobra with my hood up, ready to rip someone a new one. But all the fights have been in my head. I have actually never had anyone bother me while nursing in public. I know many woman aren’t so lucky and that’s a major injustice but I think we are going in the right direction. Don’t be nervous about feeding your baby, you are protected by the law (unless you are in Idaho… Idaho is the worst.)
Basically what I am getting at here is that you are totally, 100% justified in however you feel about breastfeeding and someone else is feeling the same way right now! If you need help, talk to your doctor, talk to your friend, join a facebook group, send me a message. There is endless support and love out there for you, Mama! Just keep boobin’!
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