How to Support a Grieving Friend

 

When someone we care deeply for is struck with the devastating loss of a loved one it can be hard to know how to support them. Of course, we want to be a good friend and we are willing to do just about anything to relieve the sadness if only for a moment. You’re afraid you might say or do the wrong thing and set the person deeper into depression. The truth is, though, there is likely nothing you can do to make them feel worse. Bringing up the loss will not remind them of what happened because they have not forgotten. Here are some ways to go above and beyond as a friend to ease the pain, even if just a tiny bit.

 

 

 

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliated links. At no extra cost to you I will be compensated if you follow the link and make a purchase. I only endorse items I love and use. 

Share Your Memories

If you knew the dearly departed as well, share a fond or funny memory about them. When my friend’s father passed away he got to hear many stories about his dad as a boy. Learning new stories about someone after they are gone can make it feel like they are still creating memories since they are new stories to them. Sharing these memories in a handwritten card or letter gives the person a keepsake they can always hold on to. Dig out old photos as well, they may have never seen them before!

 

Feed Them

When someone is grieving all aspects of their life may fall apart. They might not have the energy to meal plan or grocery shop. They may be so busy making arrangements that they don’t have the time to think about what their next meal will be. They may have missed work or be responsible for funeral financing and don’t even have enough money to pay the bills. Bringing someone a home-cooked meal or even stopping by a fast food place on the way over can really bring relief to a hurting friend. Sending a gift card for a meal delivery service allows them to order what they want and have it delivered to where ever they are. A dear friend of mine lost her fur baby and her mom in a short period of time. I sent her an Uber Eats gift card and she messaged me the next day “Mmmh, I’m getting hungry and just ordered chicken pad Thai and I just adore you right now.” It was nice to know that, in all the hustle and bustle of tragedy, she had a hot meal to enjoy.

 

Get Them an Engravable Keepsake

My cousin’s dog was her baby. They hiked together almost every day. She took him to work with her. It was true love like you’ve never seen. Unfortunately, he had health issues from the start. She did everything she could for him. I’m convinced she would have given up her own life if it meant he could live on. One day, at the top of a mountain hike, he climbed into her lap and breathed his last breath. It was tragic and beautiful. When I heard the news I didn’t know what could be done to help ease her pain. I knew she must be absolutely distraught. I decided to have a simple silver cuff bracelet made with his name. It is something she can wear with any outfit or with any other jewelry and it will just be a small memento of her eternal love for Knik.

 

With many styles to choose from, Keep Collective is an excellent resource for this kind of gift and can be seen here:

Keep Collective Engravable Cuff

I love Keep so much that I became a designer for them in early 2017. I love how unique and customizable it is! My most prized Keepsake is a bracelet with my son’s birthdate engraved on it.

 

Don’t say “Let me know if you need anything.”

They will not let you know. They will not ask for help. They will not want to bother you. Instead say “Can I make your family dinner on Sunday?” or “Can I take the kids for a few hours?” A specific offer for something like food, baby sitting, or errand running is much more likely to be accepted. Offer them something they would feel was an imposition for them to ask for. Those are the things they need most.

 

Start a Meal Train

I learned about Meal Train from my “cousin-in-law” (or whatever you call your cousin’s wife.) She offered to set up a Meal Train account for me when our son was first born. It allows friends and family to schedule a time and date to bring you a meal. It is a great way to support someone who is grieving too. Imagine what a gesture it would be to have a couple weeks of meals taken care of for a person who is going through a seriously hard time. Especially if this person is juggling a career, has children and/or are making arrangements for a lost loved one.

 

Listen

Tell them that you are their sounding board. If they want to talk about their loved one, you listen. If they want to complain about the expense of a funeral, you listen. If they want to talk about the Kardashians, you listen. Remind your friend when the dust settles that you are still available to listen to them. The support system fades away much quicker than the sorrow.

I hope that by doing one of these actions you will be able to ease the burden of someone important to you. Loss in life is inevitable but it shows us who our true friends are. Please feel free to share other ideas in the comments and have a beautiful day.